


A New Way To Fly

by username_unknown



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, One Shot, Sweet Castiel, Sweet Dean, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:58:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1913595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/username_unknown/pseuds/username_unknown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>8x09 Based. What could have happend Dean and Cas had talked it out. Tears Hugs and Kisses</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Way To Fly

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first english ff ever, hope you´ll enjoy it. Feel free to leave comments.
> 
> I don´t own anything.

„ Love is the force that helps you up, when your wings forget how to fly “

  

Dean still couldn’t believe it. It was simply impossible, but there he was, sitting on his bed like nothing happened. The Angel Castiel. Dean thought he had lost him forever. All these feelings of guilt and shame, they were strangely unimportant now. Castiel was back, out of Purgatory. 

Dean didn’t tell Sam, but a life without the angel seemed so empty, since they had spent every single day and night of so many months together. Cas and Dean had developed a strong bond very early, but now everything felt different to Dean. They had been so close in Purgatory, running fighting for each other's life. But it was the moment when the portal closed behind him, when he knew that Cas was more than a friend. For weeks he thought he realized it too late and now his angel was back. But it wasn’t happiness he felt, sure at the beginning he was freaking thrilled but now he was worried sick. 

*I wanted to stay all along; I just didn’t know how to tell you. I needed to do pendants. I didn’t deserve to be out. I saw that clear when I was there*

How could Dean ever forget these words? His angel had given himself up. And still… There he was, reading in Johns Journal like everything was just fine.  
“How you feeling Cas?”  
A confused Angel met his gaze. Normally this expression would make Dean smile sometimes even laugh, but the look was off. Castiel looked tired, like damn I could sleep for a month tired, but then again angels don’t need to sleep.  
“I´m fine”, he answered simply turning back to the Journal in his lap. Dean frowned, he wasn´t the type for chick flick moments. The whole – let´s talk about our feelings wasn´t his thing either, but this was Cas.  
“I just know when I got puked out of Purgatory, it took me a few weeks to find my sea legs.”  
“I’m fine”, the angel ensured him again.  
A sigh, then the hunter gave it another try, addressing the topic a little different, more work related.  
“Look Cas, I’m glad you are back, I really am, but this mysterious-resurrection thing always has one mother of a downside.”  
Now Castiel was obviously annoyed, but it seemed to work anyway.  
“So what do you want me to do?”  
“I don’t know maybe take a trip upstairs, see if somebody heard something.” With that Cas expression hardened, head lowered, eyes meeting his uncertain.  
“I’m not going back to heaven Dean.”  
“Look I..” But he stopped, noticing the pain in Castile’s eyes. Slowly Dean made his way towards the angel and sat next to him, voice soft and calm.

“Please Cas, talk to me.”

“Dean", a sigh, "when I was bad, when I had all those things, the Leviathans writhing inside of me… I caused a lot of suffering on earth, but I devastated heaven. I vaporized thousands of my kind. I can never go back, I just can’t.”  
Sad blue eyes met Dean`s, who tried to understand what Cas just said.  
“Because if you do, the angels will kill you.”  
“No, Dean, if I see what heaven has become, what I made of it. I’m afraid I might kill myself.”  
The hunter felt like somebody just punched him in the face. There he was Castiel, his angel, talking about taking his own life. After everything they had lost, everything they had been fighting for. He knew Cas was in some deep shit, but that? He didn’t want to believe what he heard.

Before Dean realized what he was doing, he had already pulled Castiel into a warm hug. Not knowing what to do, how to take away all this horrible pain of his angel, he just clung to him, offering him everything he had without saying a word. 

“Dean, what”, the angel didn’t understand, but Dean wasn’t even thinking of letting him go. Slowly but surely Cas started to relaxed in the hunters arms, who offered so much warms and protection. Head laid gently against Deans shoulder when he finally hugged back. They stayed like this for a little while, just holding on, before Dean pulled back as gently as he could. 

“Listen to me Cas, you’ve got to listen to me”, he started, taking Castile’s hand into his own. The angel was so confused, but he could hear how important this was to Dean, so he nodded looking directly at him, waiting for what would come next.  
“Cas we can’t change our past, doesn’t matter how much we want to. And as stupid and girly as this may sound, life doesn’t stop because we make a mistake and we sure as hell shouldn’t stop it ourselves. I know how hard this is Cas, I really do, but we gotta keep moving, keep going. And if that means no information from heaven so be it. We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to, but never, never again I wanna hear something so horrible coming out of your mouth. Don’t even think about it. I won’t let you die. You hearing me?”

Dean’s voice broke with his heart and a tear ran down his cheek. It was all too much he had lost the angel over and over again. And every time he had left, he took a piece of the hunter with him. Dean knew he couldn’t do it again, not this time not now where all these feelings seemed to burn him from the inside out. For a second Castiel thought he couldn’t breath. His chest felt so heavy, he wanted; no he needed Dean to stop crying and be happy again.

“I promise Dean, just…just please”, unsteady hands wiped his tears away, “stop crying.” And Dean stopped, not sure if it was the concern in Castiel's voice or the soft hand still resting on his cheek.  
“Dean I", Cas picked his words carefully, "something’s wrong with me.” Worriedly the hunter leaned into his hand, before he took it back into his own squeezing it softly.  
“Cas, look at me.” Blue eyes met green once.  
“Whatever it is, we figure it out, but you gotta tell me what’s going on, okay?”  
The angel nodded and Dean braced himself for the worst. 

“Dean when”, but he stopped, taking another deep breath and was glad to see that Dean wasn’t pushing.  
“When you cry, or when you are hurt, it pains me. My chest feels so heavy, I can barely breath and all I wanna do is make you happy again, or at least be there for you. And when you are happy, when you smile; I don’t know I feel strange, somehow dizzy. And then I have this need to protect you every time we are in a fight, even though I know you can take care of yourself and I… I don’t know what this is and I can’t control it, no matter how hard I try. It scares the freaking hell out of me.”

The room was quite, dead quiet for what seemed like hours to Castiel.  
“Dean, please say something”, but the hunter had no words. Did Cas just confess his feelings for him, without even knowing he did so?!  
“Dean…”  
Castiel pulled Dean out of his thoughts. He sounded so scared and when Dean looked in those blue eyes his heart nearly broke into pieces. He looked so lost, but even worse, he looked hurt. Hurt because of Dean’s silence.  
“Cas I... You don’t have to be scared, what you are feeling it’s an emotion humans call…”, but Dean stopped. He wasn’t good with feelings, but this - he couldn’t explain this and pretend not being attached. He took a deep breath and looked into Castiel's eyes.  
“I love you too.” The words came easy like it was always meant to be like this.

Dean watched the angel’s features changes from worried to confused and then they lighted up. Smiled like only an angel could.

“LOVE”, he whispered happily. 

Carefully, remembering that Castiel was new at this, Dean put a hand on the other man’s neck. Slowly he pulled him closer, never pulling too hard, never going too fast, giving Cas all the time he needed to process what was happening. Dean’s lips met Castile’s and the angel relaxed within seconds. Eyes closed Castiel returned the kiss, at first soft than a little harder. Dean’s tongue brushed over his angel’s lower lip asking for permission, which Cas granted happily. Still holding back Dean explored every little detail of Castiel's mouth. Tongues meeting in the middle, showing Cas what to do. They lost themselves, the kiss getting more and more passionate. Castiel slid his arms around Dean’s neck, while the hunter stroked his back slowly. 

None of them knew how long their kiss lasted, when they finally broke apart breathing heavily.

“I love you Dean.”

“I love you too Cas.”


End file.
